I ended up walking some of the route, which made me even more frustrated with myself. And having a coach, that I didn't even know, start lecturing me about walking made me want to throw in the towel and call it a day.
In the end, I pushed it and ran 9.6 miles. And although that was pretty impressive for such a brutal day, all I could focus on was the 1.4 miles that I didn't run.
How can I call myself a runner? How will I EVER be able to complete a full marathon on November 4th when I can't even run 11 now? I spiraled and spiraled into my own self-doubt and gloominess.
To top it all off, when I got home I had received an email which made me doubt myself as a writer and a member of the kidlit community.
Chalk it up to one crappy Saturday!
We all have days like this. When nothing seems to be going well. When we doubt why we are trying to pursue what we are trying to pursue. And those negative voices are strong and seem to drown out anything positive that might be occuring (ie. a 9.6 miles run in horrible conditions).
There is absolutely no way to guarantee to never have a bad day. But, whether its a bad day of writing or running, its recovery that in my opinion counts!
- Allow yourself the day. It may sound weird, but when faced with a really terrible day, chalk it up as that and allow yourself the day. However, vow that it is only the day and tomorrow HAS TO BE better. Binge on chocolate, listen to sad music, gripe to a friend. Whatever it is that you need to do, do it for the day.
- Strategize. Plan what you can do tomorrow to kick some butt and get back on track.
- Sleep. Nothing beats a good solid sleep. Perhaps take a nap or just get to bed early at night. But get those Zzzzzzs. Your mom is right....everything looks better in the light of a new day.
- Make no excuses. The next day, kick butt. Quite simply put. Wake up and set out to make yourself proud. Do what you can to succeed, even in a small way.
- Learn. Make note of what you can learn from your crappy day and take pride in your recovery.
Today I am going to kick some butt in the kidlit world. No, I will probably not be published by the end of the day, hence eliminating that struggle. But I can find something small to do and succeed at to help get my self-esteem back on track.
Because despite one day, I am a writer. I can do this. I have a dream. I have bad days. I get back out there and write again.