Friday, May 17, 2013

5 Ways to Combat Self-Doubt

My 8 year old niece wants to be a writer. 
When we talk on the phone she always asks me what I am working on and I ask the same of her. 
For my birthday she sent me this gorgeous notepad/folder/clip-board with specific instructions:  the notepad is for your rough drafts, the folder is for your finished drafts and the clipboard is for whatever you are working on.  It made my writer's heart gush a tad.
We are alike in many ways.  Maybe too much alike.
Here's what I mean...
My oldest niece, who is 10, had written a story, as well.  It was quite good and we were all commending her.  Well, apparently my 8 year old niece's ego got a little bruised and in came the self-doubt.  She spent much of the evening laying on her bed, crying out, "I'll never be published!" 
Boy, could I relate.
Self-doubt.
We all have it. 
"I can't write."  "No one will ever care about this story."  "I'll never be published." 
It can be crippling.
Or...it can be motivating.
5 Ways to Combat Self-Doubt

  • Throw more balls into the air.  You submitted to an agent who you have yet to hear from.  Or, the agent gave a nibble, but now is silent.  The waiting can be excruciating.  You imagine the agent laughing at your work, embarrassed to contact because its that bad.  Weird thoughts go through your head.  Solution: submit to someone else.  Instead of wallowing in self-doubt, submit to another agent.  Up the odds for a response.
  • Get nostaglic.  So you feel like you have never written a word that was good in your whole writing career?  Dig into your files and read something old.  Something that you can't even remember writing.  Whenever I do this I am shocked at how good it is...and then I start doubting that I even wrote it.  :)
  • Share your work with a friend.  This is different from critique.  This is someone who maybe doesn't even know good writing.  But they are sure to tell you how good it is.  Its best to start the conversation with something along the lines of, "I suck.  I can't write." If they truly are a friend, they will say whatever is necessary to prove you wrong. 
  • Quit.  For the day.  Not for good.  But sometimes its best to walk away.  Pretend you are not a writer.  Do non-writerly things.  Play hooky.  I promise you that everything will be waiting for you when you come back.
  • Light a fire.  Whenever I get burned out on running, I go to a race. Usually I get so inspired I want to run all the way home.  Sometimes the best motivation is to be around others who are doing it.  Hang with your writing pals.  Go to a book event.  Critique someone else's work. 

19 comments:

  1. Love this, Marcie! Your 5 Ways to Combat Self Doubt are spot on to me! I especially like "Quit", because that's the hardest one for me! I think I'll take a day off and I always end up at my computer opening files! I think taking a day is a great way to refresh! Maybe I'll do that soon thanks to your post :-)

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  2. This is excellent, Marcie! Something I'm sure we all can relate to at some point or other -- and great advice for how to deal with those wretched self-doubts. I certainly smiled in recognition at the reading of something you'd almost forgotten, and thinking "Did I really write this?" It definitely perks me up when that happens!

    Thanks!

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  3. The like with the like!
    So true and most often surrounding ones self with fellow creatives can do the trick :D

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  4. I like this list and can certainly relate to those feelings. I think that's why I love this writing community so much...we've all been there and will go back for a visit every now and again but it's our friends and colleagues who will pull us out of the funk so we can stay motivated to keep writing!

    Great post!

    Donna L Martin

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  5. Love it! Thanks for sharing your words of wisdom.

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  6. Love your words of wisdom. Thanks for sharing this with us. ss

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  7. Marcie, You're so good - documenting the feelings and inner thoughts of a writer and always offering positive and realistic ideas that inspire.

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  8. Thanks for lighting a fire with me, Marcie.

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  9. Thanks for lighting a fire with me, Marcie.:)

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  10. You've hit the pencil on the paper! Every writer has enormous doubt. I've found the best way to combat it is to keep writing new things. Yes, you always need to revise old things, but you learn so much with each manuscript that they just keep getting better and better. Something new is always sparkly and bright and is a great way to ease that doubt pain.

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  11. Excellent post! I agree with Donna, so nice to have writerly friends to encourage each other. Loving it. :)

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  12. My heart goes out to the 8-year -old moaning about being pre-pub. :(
    If I don't need these tips today, I'll probably be riding the rollercoaster of doubt tomorrow. Thanks for the ammunition.

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  13. I love this post! I especially like the suggestion to QUIT. I do that now and then - not consciously, but it really helps!

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  14. Great advice, Marcie! Thanks for this! :)

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  15. this is great advice - and timely. Am spending a week "not writing" ... it's like burn-out and I think I'm not alone in saying I need to do something else for a bit. And yes, the pages are still on my desk, waiting.

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  16. How neat you have such an influence on your nieces and common ground! Thanks for these tips.

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  17. Great post! I too love your niece's misery and how you made the parellels between you too. Very inspiring!!!

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  18. Great Marcie! I always assumed your hair was magic like Rapunzel's and you could just sing to get rid of self doubt. :)
    The scary thing is the self doubt probably doesn't go away after your first book is published or even after your tenth. So we have to learn coping mechanisms to deal with it.

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